I guess I feel like I don’t know how to get back to God and I’m paralyzed by the fear that any effort I make will be severely misguided for one reason or the other. So I’m just sitting here and waiting for that divine tug, push, or pull. Im so disgusted and confused and afraid of so many aspects of Christianity. Maybe I’m in the middle of the wringing-out I long for and I don’t even know it. I just miss joy.