If I had to remember something about today it would be how fukn outta control & lacking in meaning my life feels today. Everything has changed. There's no routine there's no guidelines no dynamics [especially now that both girls are through school. I feel pointless in my life & not needed in anyone else's. My inheritance is slipping away day by day & is exhausted after financially supporting my family on my own now for the last two years [since Vahidin ceased work in April 2015]. This has made me resentful & angry! My dream of owning my own home has been & gone & this is the saddest realisation of life's situation ruining anything & everything that could or would be good & great! Yep I'm pissed about it!