I sleep every night with this stabbing pain in the back of my head and i know what that is about. Over-thinking. It should be called stupid thinking because i am a stupid person because i shouldn't be thinking about you at all. Because you are not thinking about me - well except for all the bad things about me. As it is easier to remember all the harsh moments than to hold onto the good memories. I don't know what's the theory behind this. I mean if harsh moments are the proof that good moments were just made up or a lie , so what will ever proof the harsh moment a lie ? Nothing i guess, it will always be the winner. But what i think and what i believe is that truth is relative. Reality itself is relative. It's contextual. Both realms of the moments are true. I am thinking about you. I am thinking about you and not how you hurt me. You will ask me that how you hurt me and again i won't be able to answer that because the way you hurt me had penetrated so deep in me that it became a part of me.the sadness just took over me.
He hurt me when he stopped loving me. I know i was the reason and all that bullshit. My behavior and no one would love a girl with such behavior. Oh God i know this all by heart now that it keeps me awake at night . I have still the right to be sad. to be angry . to be upset about him not loving me because i still love him . he can say that i love hium because he never raised his voice or never abused me or restricted me or been unfair to me. No these are not the reasons that i still love him. I liove him because i just doo. Love is blind and so blind that it bears the pain inside and forget what made that pain at the first place.vknhdkjghdfiuh