cried in my mom’s arms again tonight. dug my longest nail into my knee while she was talking. i feel like the girl in my painting, two-headed and caked in bright white stage makeup. a meltdown away from cleaning it off. i don’t know how to use my words unless we are in different places, different cities even. nowhere else could feel like home to me that’s the problem. the performer is biting off my second, shadowed head. she is swallowing it whole, making her disappear. and together we are the actresses of the millennia.