Gram woke me up. Went to drivers Ed to do my last drive and they hadn't scheduled me. I was so embarrassed. Found out Bayleigh doesn't want to be around me. Despite my feelings towards her I have always tried to be nice and loving towards her. Well she was telling Kendall about dick pics and her 19 year old boyfriend.... And I thought I was messed up. I think she's jealous of the relationship I have with the kids and GG. It's no secret that I am gg's favorite. Same with gram and I'm tired of feeling bad for it. Went to Bassett with mom. I got my winter candy apple perfume !!!! Dad met us there and gave me $100. We went to Walmart and ate a TON of fries. Kailey and I didn't end up doing something but it's okay. We'll do something later. I wish mom and I could have more days like today. It was nice. Gram says Bayleigh is jealous of me... Knowing how she is and how she was raised I can see how she could be. I feel very empty. I had an amazing day and I still feel like crumbling up into a ball and sobbing. Why am I so depressed? I feel so alone. I should be happy. I should be excited for Christmas but I'm not. I'm dreading it. I know someone is going to say something wrong and they'll be a fight. I wish we were a normal family. I wish I wasn't so depressed. I wish I had someone. I have Kailey but I feel like I'm bothering her. She has enough going on. I feel like such a burden. I hate me. Misty is having a boy💙