Dear person who wrote, “what is truth if I can’t absorb it what is love if I cannot feel it.” Dear, if you’re talking about God, Ive said it before (idk if it was to you or to another person cause these memories are anonymous) and I’ll say it again: this means your faith is alive. Dead faith doesn’t truly care about the love of God, dead faith doesn’t have the guts to feel what you’re feeling and to ask the questions you’re asking. Sometimes it feels like our minds are everywhere and nowhere and God is just....... nowhere. It’s like He’s left us all alone, weak and helpless and terrified to the bone. I know it’s hard to accept and, as you put it, absorb God’s truth (which is what I’m assuming you meant), I know it feels impossible to feel His love, I know you feel cold and shaken up on the inside, I know you’re scared and I know you hate this, and God knows it, too. I’ve had a lot (a l o t) of experience throwing off the devil and the one thing that you have to stick with is just saying “no.” When a doubt enters your mind, immediately shut it down with (something along the lines of), “no, that’s not true, because God says ___.” Even you feel like you’re lying to yourself, say it anyway (maybe whenever you feel like you’re undergoing a spiritual attack or when you feel helpless). Next, try to realize and accept that you are a child of God, no matter how you feel, you will always be His child, and that makes you consistently and powerfully protected by His grace and His love, even if you feel more vulnerable now than you ever have. By all means, feel what you feel, but acknowledge that God is in control, and that the devil can’t harm you if you resist him. If you can’t feel God’s love and protection and control, fake it til you make it. Lastly, to grow faith that is genuine and true and beautiful, trust me when i say that God knows your heart, He knows your emotions and your burdens, He’s met your demons (which are absolutely terrified of Him, btw), He understands your pain. Talk to Him. Pour out your heart and expect some sort of response (whether it be a sign, a verse in the Bible that speaks to you, the encouraging words of someone else, etc.). If He doesn’t respond right away, don’t get discouraged, search for the right people to help you with these burdens, open your Bible and immerse yourself in what will become your saving grace, and talk to Him (hell, scream at Him if you have to), especially when He feels worlds away. Have faith, give it time, the best is yet to come. I’m praying for you, dear. May God beautifully bless you and do wonderful things in your heart and in your life. Amen. (Of course, if you have any questions, if you need to vent, need advice, or anything at all (lol I’m taking a risk here) feel free to dm me @arianna.anthony_ 💓)