Do you know the feeling when you know your family aren't happy. But you can't do anything about it. You don't want to show that you're depressed. Because it won't help. Then you gotta remember that you have a sensitive little brother you have to take care of so all the thing that are happening in this family won't affect him. So basically you don't want to look sad so you don't make other people sad. The only place you can express yourself is in bed 3 am.