Alvarado isn't going to STN with us so I kinda broke down in his class. Ugh he was one of the reasons I even stayed in STN. I love editing and shooting and directing especially but I'm sure I won't be able to direct... Set up grams new tree. Tori and I decided to go to the movie tomorrow. I got home and fell asleep. I've had a long day and I feel awful emotionally and physically. I'm just so tired of everything. I'm surprised Alvarado not going to STN bothered me this much bc I've cried a lot. Maybe because he and misty are the main reason I'm still doing STN. Actually not surprised most people in STN hate me... Wish Megan was coming with us. Her submission video was so much better than mine. The only reason I'm going rid because I went last year. I'm not as good as everyone thinks I am and that fucking kills me. I want to be good at something and I know I'm not. I feel really depressed... I don't think they wanted me to edit the video... I don't know why. I think I'm the strongest editor.