My emotions are a lot to handle right now. They feel like a weight on my chest. I feel a pressure in the top of my head. I could barely eat. Why do I go through these lows? These sinking moments of overwhelming depression and negative thoughts? I wish I could exit this body and step into a different one. A different life would be even better. There is an unhappiness I keep running from. I wish I were different so I would be “too much” for everyone. I’ve learned to love myself some days and other days I can’t figure out why I’m alive. What for? On top of that I’m having an outbreak.... it could be so much worse and I know that. But that doesn’t make this sadness go away. It only makes me fed up with myself for not being able to smile and be happy all the time. What’s it going to take to make me whole? I’ve tried religion, I’ve tried meditation, I’ve tried drugs, love all of the above.... what’s next?