Relationship with food is at its worst. Time restricted feeding for 23 or so hours, then a massive binge. The fucking flab disgusts me. I’m so full. I fucking loathe this. Want to translate this into some kind of project but also don’t want to give myself away. The fucking fat flaps around. I hate this. I wish I didn’t let myself turn out like this. Was so positive a few hours ago. If only I’d gone the whole 36 hours. Watching mukbang and weird shit on YouTube to reverse psychology myself out of this and it hasn’t been working. I just want to love myself