''...most of us build prisons for ourselves and after we occupy them for a period of time we become accustomed to their walls and accept the false premise that we are incarcerated for life. As soon as that belief takes hold of us we abandon hope of ever doing more with our lives and of ever giving our dreams a chance to be fulfilled. We become puppets and begin to suffer living deaths. It may be praiseworthy and noble to sacrifice your life to a cause or a business or the happiness of others, but if you are miserable and unfulfilled in that lifestyle, and know it, then to remain in it is a hypocrisy, a lie, and a rejection of the faith placed in you by your creator..."
" most humans, in varying degrees, are already dead. In one way or another they have lost their dreams, their ambitions, their desire for a better life. They have surrendered their fight for self-esteem and they have compromised their great potential. They have settled for a life of mediocrity, days of despair, and nights of tears. They are no more than living deaths confined to cemeteries of their choice. Yet they need not remain that way. They can be resurrected from their sorry condition. They can each perform the greatest miracle in the world. They can each come back from the dead..."
THIS is where I'm at right now. I'm tired, done, full of bullshit. I preach strength, success, motivations, and the utmost discipline b, yet I have none of these things for myself. CHANGE. Change is what I need. I need a full on raise of standard. I need to actually produce something.
It is me who gives my Creator a bad name for reasons more than lust and sinful infidelity.
No...
This goes beyond that
I
AM
USELESS.
Today I am nothing short of absolutely nothing.
Today I am a piece of shit retail mall employee living in a piece of shit apartment with a piece of shit life. There is no worth in who I am and what I am doing in my life.
and I AM FUCKING FED UP.
With myself and my decisions and ALL the precious time I've wasted being petty and blaming circumstances and bullshit parents and bullshit family for shit I can simply push myself to do for myself.
It
Is
Fucking
OVER!
I can't allow myself to speak another miserable "woe is me" bullshit sentence as an excuse to put up with the bullshit I ave expected from myself.
I
REFUSE
To
Quit
If I stopped, who will tell me to keep going? If every motivational person I know ever died, who would call me and tell me to keep going?
It is only I who can determine whether or not I win or lose in all that I am.
I used to believe that I was destined for greatness and now I know I have settled. I have settled for less than half of the life that I know I can obtain.
What
Happened
To
Me?
NO
MORE
"TRYING".
Trying is for the one who can't get the job done and I refuse to be that person any longer.
It's time.