The Art of Letting Go.. Can anyone ever master it? And would it be worth it to be able to cut ties, cut communication and cut off relations and feel nothing? One of my greatest fears as a single being in this world that is so infatuated with companionship is that I will drift in to the cycle of gravitating in and out of love with individuals, never letting myself fall so madly in love and trusting so absolutely.. again. My heart aches and time is the only viable medicine. Time as medicine is like a drip line I.V. injecting peace in to my veins, but it's chasing the pain, never getting far enough ahead to take off the edge of grief, or at least the sting of losing the human you treasured the most. Maybe that's why God issued alcohol into existence.. For all of the memories we can't wait for time to heal. Who's to say? As for me, I lay here every night hoping I don't remember how complete you made me feel, because those are the memories that wreck me. I feel like a dry drunk, finally facing sobriety and swallowing my pride long enough to see that we weren't as perfect as I imagined, but I don't want perfection, I want you. Hell, we've come this far, it would be a shame to leave this thought open ended. I live by this simple idea of "be with the people that want to be with you." I want you. I want to share in your highs, lows, and every in between. I want meet you between the sheets of anticipation and expectation and be intoxicated by your being here. I want to unearth every question you left unanswered. I want to feel your heart and know your mind. But you can't forge feelings in to existence that are not there. Not anymore. Maybe they are, but I can't let myself believe that for even a second. The thought of you wanting me as your partner in crime, your best friend, your close confidant, your babe, your other half... Your fiancé.. Your husband.. Yours.. I can't. It's easier to let go and blindly hope that someone will love me better than you ever could, than hold on to a shred of hope. And yet every night I here I lay. God help me. Be still my soul. Dawn is coming.