I have so much empathy and compassion for October 4th 2021 me. my suffering was so great. and now I know that I’m so much more than my suffering. on the other side of it I see the individual I am without 2:00 am laundry to be done, having gained weight, about to be 18, eating enough and nourishing my body, appreciating how much time mom’s put into learning how to cook, free from the grasp of ave maria that turned sour so quickly, off my thyroid med, taking time for myself, healing my body. on the other side of it I see why people say not to give up. I still cry a lot. but I am comforted in my sorrows. in my lamentation. my Abba has not given up on me.