in art class, i say to lauren and aryn. “do you ever think about how time never stops? how there’s always going to be one more thing?” they both tell me to stop talking and it gives me all i need to know. i go to graeter’s with brynn and lauren. us three are getting close. i rant and i rave about stuff i never really got to say. when i come home my mom wraps her arms around me. she tells me about how she raised and fed me and sang me the one song i always wanted at night. she says when i would suggest the song, i always sounded half asleep already. she tells me how sweet i was when i was a kid, how she wished i was still her. i say, “don’t you like me now” and she says “yeah but” i wish i was her again too. conner and i stay up till 4. this time i tell him i don’t want to go to sleep. he says “when i see you randomly in the halls, or when i look at you at work, i can’t help but smile” he says this as M83’s my tears are becoming a sea hits 1:07.