Church and straight to mb awards. Got to eat but tbh a waste of time bc all we did was sit and listen. Jessica and Olivia's family came over. I studied. Mom gets truthful when she's drunk. This time, she said that if I don't car for her, then she won't care for me as much either. She said that she has three kids she can have favorites. She said that people connections are like that. If I don't seem to rely on her then it feels that I don't need her. She said that even though I might not care now, I will later, but she will care for my sisters first. She said that I think of parents as just money and food and what not. I was listening thinking that yes I am independent, but that doesn't mean that I don't care. But I acted as if I didn't rly care bc idk. Now I'm crying bc she literally low key abandoned me as a daughter I guess. She won't care. I guess our relationship is more a formal thing. Maybe I'm emotional bc of period hormones. Maybe I'm really sad. I just don't know what I feel it all feels mixed up like my pride is hurt but I'm emotional hurt and it's like your friend saying that were not friends anymore. I'll probably read this in like a week with the hormones gone and be like why the heck did I feel that way but my mom just broke up with me. My little memory tells me that I feel affectionate I guess about my friends but the next emotion is anger prob to my mom. It's true she irritates me a lot hear days. But she's okay. I like her. Only this morning we went shopping for shoes. I guess I do think of her as money. She doesn't deserve a child like me maybe. Well she has two others. Good luck with them. I'll just be a girl you fund. Who will bring you maybe not so proud grades but you'll still spend money on her cuz she's yours. Blah blah. I'm nothing.