the reward from yesterday's punishment landed: I'm still a man. Now I get to manage living; sex, love, friendship, though not as priority, as adjunct to being me, that's the compartmentalisation at work - I still enjoy sex even in this battered frame and I love each of them in their way when they are here but friends, they're never "adjunct", they're part of being me, they're part of me and though I'm restricted in my abilities to venture out visiting, there's them visiting me, interacting via social media, phone calls, chat sessions, movie nights; and with all of 'me' being 'me' I can participate fully

it's part of being a man without being a dick if you're on the path I'm on of bachelorhood, with deep friendships with some sexual partners that extends to loving - I make love, I don't have sex - and relationships that have life spans instead of "eternities".