good things. my therapist recommended. romans 8 last night. an enchanted condominium. i prayed for the girls i am house sitting for on their wedding week even though it felt unimaginable and i realized that such impossibility is my target, every . single . day. praise music in the morning, in spite of the heaviness. making a choice. God blessed the day. reading boundaries before work, a freshness to my step on the way there, maybe because it’s like i’m vacationing 10 minutes closer to to work so i had time to read before work, a hope in my bones as i committed (again) to sanctify my diet, talking to customers as if i loved them and they benefitted me (which they do) told stephen about it. “i love to hear that my wife is doing well.” i offered to go back to work to cover for brian. k gave me my markout for free. i read today that our lives are our responsibility before God and that was so heretical to me it had to have something to it. it was in contradiction to the same condemning cacophony that marks most of my days. i swept slowly and thoughtfully and saw a bug, perhaps, running frantically from my broom, and i saw a tender, but blazing bit of connection between humankind that God orchestrated through the years and these tiny organisms we have sprung from. and it wasn’t this hopeless “it’s God or it’s science” thing. it was beautiful. i felt like i understood stephen and his grief over animal production practices... almost every living thing fears, every single one with this precious, effervescent instinct to stay alive. some privileged (and burdened) with the ability to emulate what we call love. every living thing, striving to this point. I see Him. / humility can come from realizing that most of what i think could be dead wrong but that He who is right comes for me anyway. seeds of hope and breaths of realization scattered everywhere. obedience. grace. a german shep husky mix puppy that has decided to love me without even knowing me. /cats are like pharisees and dogs are like christians.