Today I went to the hospital to pick up dads blanket and drop off a present and card for the nurses. Codee told me that the last time she saw him, which was after they told him he was going to die but we didn’t know about it because he never told us. When mum and I went to the 7/11 it was just Codee and him. They weren’t talking and then dad looked over at her and said “make sure you look after Spesh for me” she said of course she would and he patted her leg and said “good good”. Then he changed the subject, as dad would, never one to get emotional. I know it should make me feel happy that he cared but it just reminded me that he knew he was going to die and he didn’t tell anyone. I hope he wasn’t too scared, I hope the hospital supported him and I hope he knew how much I loved him. Also when we were driving the whole way there music was playing, it was just popular music like Nicki Minaj and whatever. Then as soon as we pulled up to the hospital “dancing in the sky” started playing. Dads song. Not only was it a sign that he was with me, but that he approved of the song I picked for the funeral. It’s almost like he confirmed that he is singing and dancing. My heart hurts, I miss him.