went shopping with brynn and lauren. i sat in the dressing room while they tried on the worst dresses we could find. later me and brynn visit lauren at work. i feel guilty though because i can only think of her saying “i don’t like you today” on friday. a stupid thing i always hang onto. when i leave i go straight to conner’s where he insists on driving. we go to the empty soccer field. i have him time me while i run the whole track. i collapse after i pass him again. we’re lying in the middle of the track looking up at the big dipper. i say “why didn’t you stop me!!” because i know it’ll make him laugh. and it does. my throat burns and my stomach hurts. “i just wanted to impress you”. we watch the beginning of a movie in his backyard before i have to go. he walks me to my car. i don’t know how exactly to say it. i give him a hug. i say what i’m thinking. “i’m gonna miss you” i can feel his hand on my back. the first thing he says. “why?”