It's happening again. That, that fucking feeling of nostalgia. The ever present overlying fact that the nouveau riche life I was expecting this year hasn't happened. And I want to go back. The videos came out today and I can see her, she's dancing up there and she's gorgeous. And to think that just a year ago we were watching the videos to ourselves thinking that we would both make it through the weeks together. But only she did. It's hurt me every single day. Every opportunity presented to me to be with her again has been shot down, torn apart by forces outside of my control. All I want to do is dance with her. Dance with everyone I danced with last year. Because they're all gone. I'm alone. And I'm scared I'll be alone again.