i love you deep down to the center of every poem. when we sit and paint in silence by the tennis courts. when we take the swings on the playground and eventually end up sliding to the ground, looking up at the sky. the wind is testing our hair, flayed out on the fake grass, the sun hinting though the big tree down at us. our legs are still hanging on the swing. i turn to you and you are laughing already. this is the happiest second of my life. to have you here. to sit in the parking lot of southside and plan future days. to watch old videos and listen to the families talk over one another outside the pubs and bars. you say when we come back, everything will be different. i hope not.