I would do it all over again. I really would. The highs and lows of our relationship every happy and sad moment and everything in between. Because we were two of the lucky ones. We had something so incredible. So in a way I do wish we worked. I wish the circumstances were a little different. I wish you were a little more accepting, open minded and easy going. I wish you didn’t feel like you had to put me in a box for me to be right for you. I wish that you could’ve let me bloom in the way I was supposed to and loved me regardless. Three months later I still miss the nights I would stay up laughing the hardest I ever have with you, and I miss feeling loved and loving someone back so fearlessly. I think that’s why it still hurts; because I loved you with my heart wide open, every step of the way until the very end. But tonight for the first time I felt a sense of acceptance. For the first time the sadness I felt wasn’t a feeling of yearning for what was lost, but rather just a sense of reminiscing on the past. It was a sadness of nostalgia; the kind that I feel when I think about my childhood and my first kiss and the times I used to walk into middle school and dream of where I am now. Not true sadness, but just a sigh of what was. And I think that’s the way it always is going to be. One day I’m going to fall in love again with someone who makes me feel the same way, and I’m going to be ready to accept their love into my heart. But it will never take the place of his. It’ll be a different kind of love, a stronger, mature more definite type, but nothing will ever completely replace his aspect in my life. He made me into who I am today. Through the good and the bad I am me in this moment because of all the experiences I have been through. And for that I can thank him. And for that I can look back and be happy with what was. I can cry happy tears for the young heart I was intertwined with for a brief moment in time, yet still look to the future. So today. Three months and a day later. I am okay. I am free.