I heard kara say once that every move, every action, is a creative meditation. I see that so thoroughly in aubrey. whether it’s the goofy, the philosophical, the bare-bones of her movement —- she is so fiercely and honestly present. Even behind a mask, you see genius, anxiety, imperfection, joy, pouring out of her, so generously. so generously. she is bared to all, and yet countless layers deep. she’s perfect. she is perfect bc she has settled elbows deep into the realization that she is not — among other things, jewel-encrusted convos between her and i might someday unearth. I did less of beating myself up today for not being as far along as she is (whatever that means) I just enjoyed her. I let God minister to me through her. She asked me how I was and I said, “no.” Her eyes glittered with piercing and gushing concern, like a waterfall, or something. “Is there anything I can do to help?” and the tears came up so quick. tears of unspecified longing.