The whole day was grey yesterday. Cried a lot. At the last cry (around 11pm), I had a realization. It was always going to be this way, and I have been prepared all along. I wanted this. I wanted to play a more genuine game than the façade of every moment until that 'victory' was determined. I just had chosen to invest hope and effort and belief in a less terrorized path to reach our handful of much-needed/most-needed solutions. But when you lose and everything else has to move on, it does no good to keep at it in one's dreams. It's time for everyone to put away their rose-colored lenses and stop. Time to stop asking others for permission to do the right things, by ourselves and by others. Time to stop placing faith in abusive/exploitative relationships (whether it be loved ones or institutions). Time to stop worrying about the rules, and use the internal moral compass that we were each gifted with upon arrival as a guide for decision-making. Time to do the work and make the world we want and need.