2018 felt less vulnerable for a little bit. felt more like a 20 year old, maybe even an 18 year old, more than the fearful husk that is everything malignant and sad about an infant and elder. tonight the moon was a satisfying fingernail. watched Nathan Chen with my mom when i got home from rehearsal. rehearsal was short, i kept telling myself. finding ways to live in the moment through the clothes i put on and the people i kiss. wondered in bed way too late at night how im gonna get thru the week and if taking pictures is my passion. wondered how i was going to get thru the wk and get my hands on film, for its as if my life depended on it.