church, but while vacuuming. soul searching, while mopping. /grabbing the excess fat thats accumulated on me. so many excesses. i don’t know how to cut it away. is it through plain effort or plain surrender? it is so unclear to me!!!!!!Christianity is as simple as breathing one moment, and then. the next SIX DAYS it is pure confusion, drowning feelings, unbelief, fear... what the heck. and yet, i keep “coming up for air”. He’s like — here’s a bit o truth that knocks my socks and my well nurtured preconceived ideas clean off — and i’m like, well that changes EVERYTHINg. and then i get a blow from some direction (idk which) that causes me to wake up A g a i n with that ***amnesia*** i remember very well. “ it appears to be getting worse “ is my tagline most of the times that people ask, still. STILL!!! where does romans 8 fit into this? where does a light burden and life and freedom fit into this???