reality check. Is this really how I want to live? i ran out of gas on my way to school in Fresno from Palmdale and ended up spending some hours at a McDonald’s in Tulare with no phone, no wallet. Stormy Weather was playing on the radio as I realized I was missing class that day. I had c call my mom to ask her to bring me a wad of cash from Fresno so I could get gas. mom showed and we bonded though over coffee and sausage McMuffins and baby pictures of this boy who makes me laugh and laugh and even when his giving caresses inspire nothing but sadness in the very pits of my still broken heart. my soul is an empty place again, fit for so much grace